Baby Steps In Stilettos

Therapy Doll

2011-12-11T18:49:00.001-08:00

So I spent a good part of the afternoon with a good friend of mine Pauline. I asked her for help in creating a therapy doll for my son. We made a "mommy doll" to simulate chemotherapy. She has a port and her own IV. Her hair is Velcro and removable. She has day clothes and pajamas for when she is sick. Pauline was such a huge help, but G3 did not like the doll. He did not like her at all. He asked that she go in the other room. G3 was angry and did not want to look at her or talk about her. I guess that says it all. He is pretty mad at the fact I have cancer and does not need a doll to tell me. I just turned into the therapist on the movie "What about Bob." You know the one who made his family communicate with puppets. I am that person. My poor son.

HairOfying Moment

2011-12-11T18:34:00.000-08:00

The hair has begun to fall out. To be honest I have been in denial about the hair loss. I did commit and buy store hair, aka a wig. I thought I could donate it because my hair wouldn't really fall out. If I didn't shampoo my hair for two days, then it wouldn't fall out. If I put a headband on my head, it wouldn't fall out.

So, I had my good friend Deloris cut my hair. She was gracious enough to come to my house to cut it. To help protect me from the pain of losing my hair. The physical and emotional pain. She said it was okay to cry and that she would cry with me. We put some of my hair in an envelope and she cut it the rest away. My hair has not been the short since I was a child. Of course my husband was excited about the new look. Little G3 has not mentioned my new hair cut. He definitely noticed but does not want to talk about it. This morning as I looked in the mirror the reflection took me by surprise. I spent 2 hours crying. I decided to put my big girl shoes on and go shopping. Much to my surprise it was not a glorious experience. As I put my pajamas on the counter a huge chunk of hair fell out on to the counter. The poor girl across from just stared. I explained to her that I had Cancer and that I was receiving chemotherapy. She began to cry too. She finished checking me out and came around the corner to give me a hug. She told me that it was going to be okay. I hope she is right. Victoria Secret does know the secret right?

The Three Cremes For Chemotherapy and Tape For Good Measure

2011-12-11T05:47:00.000-08:00

Chemotherapy takes you for a ride. There are three cremes that I must have to survive this grueling process. The first creme is obvious, ice cream. Not just any ice cream, Hagan Daz Dulche De Leche. Must be in single size serving to help minimize the guilt for eating massive quantities. Don't judge. The second creme is Nipple Creme. My skin is is dry. Nipple creme commonly used for breast feeding mom's can fix just about any skin cut, tear, and or dry spot. Love me some nipple creme. The last creme to help with the swelling is hemorrhoid creme. This can reduce swelling anywhere on your body. The wipes are good to keep in your purse for emergency under eye relief. The steroids from chemotherapy can make you look like a swollen chipmunk. Find those cheekbones with hemorrhoid creme. The last piece of equipment is a must have. Medical Tape. During chemotherapy treatments they leave the tubing in your port. My port happens to be in my chest. Those tubes get into everything. It is like having a penis coming out of your chest. It flops left to right. Gets caught in your bra. Flops in the bath tub when you try to shave. Please tape that stuff up when it is not in use.
Survived three treatments. They took my tubing out and my three year old gave me a high five. He was so proud. Little G3 also helps me with my shots. He tells me I am very brave. Now I have a 10 day waiting period before my next treatment. Shots daily to help with my WBC. Lots to do to prepare for Christmas.

That is all I have . Carry on.

Life Has Forever Changed

2011-11-27T21:09:00.000-08:00

I have contemplated on writing this in my blog. After all this a story of my son's life. Last week I was diagnosed with Anaplastic Large T Cell Lymphoma AKL Negative. That was the day my heart and soul broke. I will never be the same. Tomorrow I fight the biggest battle of my life, I begin chemotherapy. G3 and I have been speaking that mommy is sick. He even went to the oncologist with me. He shook the docs hand and introduced himself. He told the doc his full name and then asked when mommy would get better. He looks everyday at my bandages and says, " there still there." We have been talking about hair loss and as much as I loathe Sponge Bob Square Pants they had a show about wigs. We used that as a teachable moment. I have been wearing a black skull cap in the house off and on. I am trying to get him used to the fact that I will not have hair and/or be desensitized to bank robbers. How do you get a three year old ready? How do I get myself ready? I would like to share a story that a patient once shared with me. Let's call him Danny. Danny said, "When I was in Vietnam I asked the officer if it was time to shoot." He said, "No not yet." "Wait until 2:00." Danny asked, "Why 2:00?" The officer replied, " My mother prays for me everyday at 2:00." So I will ask if you too you pray for me at 10:00 tomorrow? Chemotherapy is scheduled to start at 10:00. It would be nice to have company.

Thank you in advance. I have to figure out which stilettos to wear for chemotherapy in the morning. Does Jimmy Choo make shoes to go with my port?

Pumpkin Carving

2011-11-01T17:31:00.000-07:00

This is the sixth pumpkin we had for Halloween. The other pumpkins were eaten by the squirrels. This pumpkin was rescued by grandmom and papa.

We carved him tonight and will keep him inside to protect him from the squirrels.

Very proud of his pumpkin. G3 said, hey squirrel I want to talk to you. He wants to protect this pumpkin.

Trick or Treat 2011

2011-10-31T19:42:00.000-07:00

2nd annual trick or treat with the Martin's

G3" Want to hear a joke? The cubs!" Hahaha!

no holiday would be complete without a visit from the fire department

His favorite movie. "The Great Pumpkin" G3 got a rock. 6 rocks, 2 dimes and a nickel, a tennis ball and loads of candy. If you ask him what his favorite thing, he says, "I got a rock."

Preschool Halloween Party

2011-10-31T19:37:00.001-07:00

the great pumpkin chillin with the bee and lady bug

the great pumpkin and superman chillin at the cottage

mom and g3 enjoying a graham cracker treat

Boo at the Zoo 2011

2011-10-30T17:48:00.001-07:00

Spelunking in the cave and we found a spider.

G3 said, "Do you know the difference between an African and an Asian elephant?" I was educated by my 3 year old.

Halloween Party 2011

2011-10-29T15:15:00.001-07:00

T-ball game after lunch.

Pin the tail on the cat

Bobbing for apples

Some people cheated and used the stems.

And some people put their whole body into the game.

I was able to read "This little baby went to Prada" to my neice Ridley. She loved it!

Way To Go Cardinals!

2011-10-26T19:15:00.001-07:00

We want a batter not a broken ladder!

Drive-In-Movie

2011-10-26T19:03:00.001-07:00

Cardboard car

Circus

2011-10-16T13:54:00.001-07:00

G3 makes a new friend.

Playing circus dress up!

G3 was selected to juggle.

G3 volunteered to dance with the performers. He has no fear.

Like A Good Neighbor

2011-10-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

It is Yom Kippur in our neighborhood. Although we don't practice, we are surrounded by others who do. The neighbors always have their grandchildren in town.

They invited G3 over to play. They couldn't have been any nicer to included him.

Pumpkin Farm 2011

2011-10-09T17:18:00.001-07:00

There are witches in the air.

Looking for the great pumpkin.

Found one.

See ya later! I can go by myself.

Forest Park Adventure

2011-10-03T18:09:00.000-07:00

G3 said he wanted to go on an adventure tonight. So off we went.

Rock climbing. Waterfall scaling.

You've Been Boo'ed

2011-10-02T15:18:00.000-07:00

We filled up our pumpkins with candy and treats.

Tip Toed to the neighbors.

There was a ghost here bringing treats to you

He flew to your house just to say Boo!

Who left this Boo Bag, who could it, be?

You might find out, but not from me!

Olivette Fair with Fredbird

2011-09-30T18:22:00.001-07:00

I felt like a fat man in a little car.

Fredbird got in the mix too!

Wagon Wash

2011-09-25T16:19:00.000-07:00

Family----and no Hell did not freeze over

2011-09-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

G3 and Miller

Eckerts Apple Picking

2011-09-25T15:19:00.001-07:00

This fall season we found our way back to Eckerts Farm. Grandmom and G3 feeding the animals.

One hump camel.

Apples, Apples!

They have a train at the farm. G3 loved the train ride.

G3 had to have red apples. The only red we could find were high up on the tree. G3 kept saying, " red apple where are you?"

See you soon!

Fall Leafs

2011-09-25T15:14:00.000-07:00

Cut out a paper leaf and place it into a ziploc bag.

Add paint and smooosh.

Game Set Match

2011-09-21T17:12:00.001-07:00

You got game?

It's out!

G3 loved his first tennis lesson. I am exhausted from chasing the ball.

National Talk Like A Pirate Day

2011-09-19T15:28:00.001-07:00

Starting our search for pirate booty

Found a clue

Found a clue outside

Located the treasure

Leaf People

2011-09-18T14:50:00.000-07:00

Hot Air Balloon Race Saint Louis Missouri

2011-09-17T17:38:00.000-07:00

G2 and G3 watching the balloons take off.

North End Eatery NorthPort Michigan

2011-09-14T18:27:00.001-07:00

Paul and Kristie Penning friends and owners of the NorthEnd. I filled in for a 2 hour shift to wait tables when they were short staffed. I didn't break or drop anything and made $25.00 in tips!

Paul and G3 on the deck at the cottage.

Paul G3 and Kristie

9/11/11 Memorial Saint Louis Art Hill

2011-09-14T18:22:00.000-07:00

Golf Cart

2011-09-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

I gotta hit some balls. See ya!

Tee Time Toddler Style

2011-09-06T11:33:00.000-07:00

Johnson, G3, and Gavin

Fiona, Gavin, Emma

Getting organized

Tee off

Get in the hole

Gavin Johnson and G3 caught in the sand trap

When life catches you in the sand, build sand castles.

Annual Trip to the Llama farm

2011-09-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

up close and personal with the llama

Chickens

I love chickens.

Michigan Playdates 2011

2011-09-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

Will Audrey and G3 at the park

G3 taking a spin on the golf cart

Cheese!

G3 and his friend Johnny who he calls Johnson.

Birthday Boatride

2011-09-06T11:19:00.000-07:00

G3 and daddy

Captain Audrey and G3

Too much party. He fell asleep.

G3 Third - number 3 birthday party in Michigan

2011-09-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

Make a wish!

Third Birthday Party-Fireman Theme

2011-08-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

G3 with his fire truck

G3 at the fire station

Fire truck cake

"hot potato"

Alex was the winner for hot potato

G3 pointing at the ladder painted on the grass.

Practicing the fireman crawl...

G3 and Jake in the car.

Lining up for the race.

Time to eat. Menu "hot dogs" "flammin chips" "fire bombs" "liquid fire"

Blowin out the candles

The party moved to the fire station.

G3 and Ella

Ella

Hey Ford, doesn't your mom have one of this in her room?

Ella, G3 and Lucas in the back of the truck.

The whole gang!

Picking peaches at Ekerts

2011-08-28T19:57:00.000-07:00

G2 and G3 riding on the wagon.

G3 driving the tractor.

G3 shopping with his own cart.

First Cardinal Baseball Game: Cards vs. Pirates

2011-08-28T19:52:00.000-07:00

Cards Win!

Lodge of the Four Seasons

2011-08-06T19:45:00.000-07:00

Tee Time

Learning to put

Get in the hole

Ladybug Ladybug!

2011-08-02T19:09:00.001-07:00

This post is brought to you by the letter "M"

2011-08-02T19:00:00.000-07:00

Your son has been studying the alphabet. He is assigned to bring something with the letter "M" to class on Monday. Can you say MANOLO? What do you think the other mom's sent in with their kids?

Occupational Exploration Part I

2011-07-25T21:46:00.000-07:00

Man down...don't worry we have a doc in the house

I found a pulse

Wooo that was close

Code blue...puppy down

I will put a band aid on.

University City Pool

2011-07-25T21:41:00.001-07:00

u-city lion sprinkler

Climbing the ladder... to attempt his first trip down the water slide

whooosh!

Success!

Construction Worker

2011-07-19T18:41:00.000-07:00

The Making of a Bird Feeder

2011-07-16T19:58:00.000-07:00

Cheerios and Pipe Cleaners

We hung the pipe cleaners on the bird feeder.

We also hung them on the window for "bruce" the squirrel.

Building a Fort

2011-07-16T19:50:00.001-07:00

The Fort

Construction Materials

New Bike

2011-07-13T17:26:00.001-07:00

New Helmet

Push Dad Push

Concentrating

North Port Point Michigan 4th of July Trip

2011-07-08T06:08:00.001-07:00

Throwing rocks with dad.

Climbing trees.

Pretend fishing poles. Does he need a real one?

First boat ride of the summer.

Digging holes at Sandy Beach with his friend Ben.

Lauren's Birthday party. Preparing for the water balloon fight.

Trying to steal the golf cart.

G3 wanted to paint a birdhouse and take it to Nana's House. Well this is her new house, kind of.

Wolsey airport.

Hanging out on the beach.

4th of July parade. I decorated the wagon for the parade.

He decided to use a bike. Thankfully his buddy John had an extra.

And there off.

Family pictures on the beach.

Happy Fourth of July!

Happy Father's Day 2011

2011-06-19T18:05:00.001-07:00

Making a stepping stone for father's day

Adding decoration

Added a hand print

Kemp Car and Truck Show 2011

2011-06-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

She thinks my tractors sexy!

G I George

Move out!

Over the road truck driver.

Fire Chief G3

Check out the hood ornament on this ride.

The wheels on the bus....

Paramedic G3

Bad Mother

2011-06-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

I bought G3 water guns. The heat has been horrible all ready. My neighbor came by with her little boy. Her son is 5. I offered one of the water guns to her son and she said, "we have not introduced guns." Well, I guess we won't be doing any play dates and time soon.

Queeny Park

2011-06-11T14:17:00.000-07:00

Tammy, G3 and Zac

Feeding Zac an apple

G3 and Janna

Potty Party!

2011-06-08T18:07:00.001-07:00

So proud of my little guy! We made a cake in the shape of a toilet.

Farm 2011 Freeberg Illinois

2011-05-28T20:50:00.000-07:00

Hello Mr. Ed

Farmer G3

Would you like a flower?

See ya later!

Gymnastics Meet 2011

2011-05-22T07:11:00.001-07:00

Arriving for the event with our matching team George blue wrist bands.

The rings

Balance Beam

Parallel Bars

Mom and G3 in the rolling tube

After the award ceremony

G3 in the tube.

Balance beam cake with gymnasts

Grandmom and Grandpa wouldn't dream of missing the event!

Birthday Party Ella Flynn

2011-05-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

G3 and the birthday girl Ella in the bounce house.

Eckerts Farm-Strawberryfest 2011

2011-05-16T07:16:00.001-07:00

G3 was able to have his own shopping cart. Anyone see the strawberries?

He was able to checkout all by himself. The cashier Amanda was wonderful with him.

" Do you take coupons?"

Grandmom and G3 at the checkout! What a wonderful time at the strawberry festival. We will be going back. I also picked up a list of summer classes. We may have to try them out. This is a great family resource.

Transportation Museum-National Transportation Week

2011-05-16T07:12:00.001-07:00

All Aboard!

Dominican Republic

2011-05-09T07:45:00.001-07:00

Cheese

Castaway Lobster Bake

Buried in the sand

Ola

Morning aerobics

Belly up to the bar for a glass of milk

At the school

Good morning

Easter 2011

2011-04-24T16:26:00.000-07:00

The night before Easter... he left a note for the bunny to give his pull ups to the babies and carrots for a snack.

The Easter Bunny left a basket with treats

Bunny prints leading to the basket

He found the basket. Look new underwear.

A big chocolate Godiva Bunny

Decorating Easter Eggs

2011-04-24T16:22:00.000-07:00

Happy Earth Day

2011-04-24T16:20:00.000-07:00

Earth Day 2011 at the Saint Louis Zoo

2011-04-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

Real moms climb the rocks in pink stilettos

I am king of the hill!

Who's driving this canoe?

Underwater basket weaving

Spelunking

Recycling relay race

1 2 3 g0

Put the Lime In the Coconut

2011-04-11T17:20:00.000-07:00

We picked up a coconut at Soulard's Farmer's Market

Gathered our tools

This is harder than it looks. Did Gilligan use a hammer and a screw driver?

That's what it looks like on the inside!

Teacher Appreciation Week

2011-04-11T17:14:00.000-07:00

Thank You For Helping George Bloom

A Packet of seeds Teacher Note Cards

Teacher's work so hard. I wanted to G3 to help make a gift for all of his teachers.

Fun In The Great Outdoors

2011-04-11T17:08:00.000-07:00

Practicing the long jump

Yard Work

Using his wheelbarrow

So many tools so little time

Easter Crafts 2011-Peep Wreath

2011-04-04T18:20:00.001-07:00

Glue the peeps on a wreath wrapped with brown ribbon.

Baseball in the house

2011-04-04T18:13:00.000-07:00

We need a batter not a broken ladder.

Hey! Where's the ball?

That's a winner!

Purina Farms 2011

2011-04-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

Hey lets go for a ride!

Been farmin long?

Hello cow

It's the Easter bunny!

Goin for a wagon ride!

Spring 2011 Pictures

2011-04-02T18:43:00.001-07:00

Ride in a Limo

2011-04-02T14:38:00.001-07:00

Jeeves, I want to go to the farm!

Come on mom! Hurry!

April Fools Cupcakes

2011-04-02T14:36:00.000-07:00

Is it a tv dinner or cupcakes? Doesn't matter. It was a big hit with the preschool crowd.

Dr. Seuss Counting

2011-03-28T18:21:00.000-07:00

One Fish, Two Fish

Counting with Goldfish Crackers

Signs of Spring

2011-03-21T18:01:00.001-07:00

Skinned knee

pocket full of rocks, acorns, and pinecones

March Madness

2011-03-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

Basketball cake

Basketball decorations

Free Throw Shoot Out

Dunking contest...oreo style

St Pat Morning

2011-03-17T19:59:00.000-07:00

Did the Leprechaun come?

I see the rainbow

I found the pot of gold

Green milk and green shamrock pancakes for breakfast!

I love St. Patrick's Day!

St. Pat's Cupcakes

2011-03-16T20:53:00.001-07:00

mmm I love batter

The Leprechaun is coming!

2011-03-16T20:47:00.000-07:00

the rainbow of ribbon starts at his door

down the stairs

in the sitting room

and ends in the kitchen with a pot of gold chocolate coins, green chips, a shamrock cookie and a book!

Rainbow ---made of Trix cereal

2011-03-13T16:36:00.000-07:00

Such enthusiasm for crafts.

Sorting the colors and counting

Final Masterpiece

Trip to Indiana

2011-03-10T16:18:00.000-08:00

G3 and cousin Blake

Mommy G3 Melissa and Blake

Blake and Danny

Fun on the cart with Aunt Susie

Planting A Sunflower Seed

2011-03-02T17:34:00.000-08:00

We had to put the dirt in water to make it expand...

Then we had to mash the dirt up...

We planted sunflower seeds...

1 2 3 magic

We placed the pot in the window to watch it grow. I hope it works, if not I will buy one to put in the pot.

Funny story with the sunflower. I wanted to grow clover for St. Patrick's Day. I could not find seeds. I think the young workers at Target thought that I was asking for something else when I asked for Clover Seeds. Oh well. I did find them on line for a bargain price of $2.00. With Shipping for only $18.00. Oh the things we do for our children.

P.S. The toilet water has magically turned to green during the month of March. I am absolutely certain when I told the target workers this they were ready to report me.

Little Leprechauns

2011-03-02T17:31:00.000-08:00

We traced our hands to make tiny leprechauns.

Celebrating President's Day

2011-03-02T17:27:00.000-08:00

Lincoln Log Cabin

Lincoln's Head- G3 added a feather in his hair.

Children's Hospital and other fun events

2011-02-18T06:25:00.001-08:00

It took many practice tries, but he will now use the mask.

Happy to get x-rays. He was able to talk the nurse out of six stickers.

You want me to do what?

So G3 picked up some kind of virus. He was having trouble breathing Wednesday night. He would wake up and say help, breathe , hurts momma. It was scary. I took him to the pediatrician and she sent us out for xrays at Children's Hospital. We ended up being discharged home. This required us to give him nebulizer treatments every 4 hours. I though deal. We get to go home. The insurance did not. They would cover the liquid medicine for the nebulizer, but not the nebulizer. They believed he could use an inhaler. I bought the inhaler and then proceeded to wish unhappy thoughts on the insurance people. I am happy to report he is in better spirits. I am tired from giving the every 4 hour treatments. He is a trooper and announces after each treatment, "I all better."

Valentine Breakfast

2011-02-14T18:39:00.001-08:00

Dear God, Please let my Valentine bring me lots of chocolate.

MMM Heart shaped waffles with sprinkles and bacon!

Note from the teacher

2011-02-13T19:26:00.001-08:00

Cupcakes with sprinkles

Train cupcakes.... I choo choose you!

The requested cookies.

Dear Mrs Budke,

The students have requested 32 cookies and cupcakes.

Thanks in advance,

PDO Teacher

Hmmm. They have my number.

Happy Valentine's Day 2011

2011-02-13T16:54:00.000-08:00

Blowing Kisses

Cheese!

Blast from the past...G3's first Valentine's Day

2011-02-13T16:46:00.000-08:00

G3 is going to celebrate his first Valentine's Day. He is looking for the perfect Valentine. Here are some of his criteria:
Must be a female 3-9 months of age... older women are okay with me
Hair is not important... as I am still growing mine.
Teeth are okay... I do not have any yet, but I am working on it...please no gold teeth
Weight is not an issue...as I am embracing this stage of my life
Must enjoy music... I have Baby Einstein on heavy rotation on my ipod
Baby sign language a plus
If you want to stay in my crib you must bring your own swaddle blanket...it is not nice to swipe someones swaddle in the middle of the night....
Here is a little info about me:
I am 5months and 1week.
I am in the 90% for weight, so there is a lot of me to love.
I am 27 inches tall, but most of the time I am sitting or lying down. Height is not a problem.
I have full cheeks and big blue eyes.
My hair is coming in blond.
I sleep through the night, so if you are a night owl you need not apply.
I don't mess around at mealtime and I don't share my food.
My mom makes the best bottles so ladies you have some heavy competition.
Hope to hear from you soon!
G3

L is for Love

2011-02-07T16:59:00.000-08:00

Cut out the letter "L" Add color

Put pictures of people you love.

Superbowl 2011

2011-02-06T13:26:00.001-08:00

Making the football

Attaching the base and practicing our Roman Numbers

Go Steelers! Black and Yellow!

Snowday 2011

2011-02-05T15:43:00.000-08:00

First time on a sled

weeeeee

I Love You!

2011-02-03T19:33:00.000-08:00

G3 says "I love you everyday" That always makes me laugh and I say everyday even tomorrow. Everyday mom. That just warms my heart.

Happy Chinese New Year! 2011--Year of the Rabbit

2011-02-03T19:26:00.000-08:00

Gold paint for the Chinese New Year Fish

Become one with the art

Dear God, Please make this a good new year.

The making of a dragon

The golden fish

Valentine Hugs 2011

2011-02-02T18:01:00.000-08:00

We have many family members far away, so we will be mailing our valentine cards

First trace your hands and cut them out.

Measure with ribbon the length from hand to hand with your arms stretched out.

Tack the ribbon on to each hand. This resembles a hug.

You can mail these valentine hugs

A valentine hug for you

Wrap these hands around you whenever I'm away,

So you can have a hug from me anytime of day!

You can sing the "Hug Song"

Tune "Farmer in the Dell"

I made this hug for you

To cheer you when you're blue

High-Ho the Derry oh

I made this hug for you!

Happy Groundhogs Day! 2011

2011-02-01T16:30:00.000-08:00

Groundhog and a cup

Mr. Groundhog---Tune Fr ere Jacques

Mr. Groundhog, Mr. Groundhog

Are you there? Are you there?

Will you see your shadow?

We all want to know

On this day, Groundhog Day.

Groundhog Cupcakes....okay just go with it. We made them for school tomorrow only to find that school is called off for snow.

Valentine Count Down

2011-02-01T15:48:00.000-08:00

Chocolate Kiss behind every day...

I think he likes it!

Elmo Live at Scottrade Center

2011-01-30T13:34:00.001-08:00

Checking out the stage before the show

The $10 unavoidable purchase of the Elmo balloon

Nice to meet you!

I've Got A Fast Car

2011-01-27T18:31:00.000-08:00

Headlights...check

Maybe the hole needs to be a little bigger

Feel the wind in my hair

Hey! Get out of the way! He gets his driving etiquette from dad.

See ya later!

Love Birds-Craft

2011-01-26T17:27:00.000-08:00

What do you do with extra holiday candy?

2011-01-26T17:20:00.000-08:00

Chocolate Cupcakes

Chocolate Icing

Candy Bar Toppings Kit Kat, Reese's, Snickers, Milky Way, and M&M

Off to the races

2011-01-24T18:41:00.000-08:00

Horses 1 and 2 G3 has the green horse that he named Pete

Pete takes the lead

The pink pony advances ...they head up the stairs

Pete goes down the stairs

off to the stable...umhmmm bed

Woman to Woman

2011-01-24T07:29:00.000-08:00

If you are a woman who has spent your life imaging what it would be like to have a child, then you know how devastating it can be to be told you can not. There is a huge grieving process. Then if you are a woman who has been told that there is no chance to conceive and you go through that grief process and find out surprise your pregnant you go through a whole different realm of emotions, denial, anger, sadness, anxiety and happiness.

I went through the roller coaster of emotions. I have a wonderful little boy. After you have the first child people begin to ask when you will have the next. I would laugh it off with comments like, I am not a machine, children are not potato chips you can have just one. I didn't want to push my luck and try for another child. The thought was always there. We had many conversations about it. We felt one more would make our family complete. So we tried. We failed. We miscarried. We tried. I faced a mountain of emotions-grief, embarrassment, uselessness, hopelessness.

Every woman in my family is like a fertility factory. The get pregnant the first time they try. They get pregnant with out trying. I have watched my friends get pregnant with their second, third, fourth....Now my sister in law is pregnant. It is hard to be happy for her and not feel bitter.

With all the technology that allow for communication infertility is still one topic most women do not want to discuss. It is still a closed door policy. My husband does not wish to discuss it in public or in private. I would love to end this post with a happy ending. That I am pregnant, but I am not. I am just trying to focus on the blessings I have. I have been truly blessed with my family.-