Therapy Doll

So I spent a good part of the afternoon with a good friend of mine Pauline. I asked her for help in creating a therapy doll for my son. We made a "mommy doll" to simulate chemotherapy. She has a port and her own IV. Her hair is Velcro and removable. She has day clothes and pajamas for when she is sick. Pauline was such a huge help, but G3 did not like the doll. He did not like her at all. He asked that she go in the other room. G3 was angry and did not want to look at her or talk about her. I guess that says it all. He is pretty mad at the fact I have cancer and does not need a doll to tell me. I just turned into the therapist on the movie "What about Bob." You know the one who made his family communicate with puppets. I am that person. My poor son.

HairOfying Moment

The hair has begun to fall out. To be honest I have been in denial about the hair loss. I did commit and buy store hair, aka a wig. I thought I could donate it because my hair wouldn't really fall out. If I didn't shampoo my hair for two days, then it wouldn't fall out. If I put a headband on my head, it wouldn't fall out.

So, I had my good friend Deloris cut my hair. She was gracious enough to come to my house to cut it. To help protect me from the pain of losing my hair. The physical and emotional pain. She said it was okay to cry and that she would cry with me. We put some of my hair in an envelope and she cut it the rest away. My hair has not been the short since I was a child. Of course my husband was excited about the new look. Little G3 has not mentioned my new hair cut. He definitely noticed but does not want to talk about it. This morning as I looked in the mirror the reflection took me by surprise. I spent 2 hours crying. I decided to put my big girl shoes on and go shopping. Much to my surprise it was not a glorious experience. As I put my pajamas on the counter a huge chunk of hair fell out on to the counter. The poor girl across from just stared. I explained to her that I had Cancer and that I was receiving chemotherapy. She began to cry too. She finished checking me out and came around the corner to give me a hug. She told me that it was going to be okay. I hope she is right. Victoria Secret does know the secret right?

The Three Cremes For Chemotherapy and Tape For Good Measure

Chemotherapy takes you for a ride. There are three cremes that I must have to survive this grueling process. The first creme is obvious, ice cream. Not just any ice cream, Hagan Daz Dulche De Leche. Must be in single size serving to help minimize the guilt for eating massive quantities. Don't judge. The second creme is Nipple Creme. My skin is is dry. Nipple creme commonly used for breast feeding mom's can fix just about any skin cut, tear, and or dry spot. Love me some nipple creme. The last creme to help with the swelling is hemorrhoid creme. This can reduce swelling anywhere on your body. The wipes are good to keep in your purse for emergency under eye relief. The steroids from chemotherapy can make you look like a swollen chipmunk. Find those cheekbones with hemorrhoid creme. The last piece of equipment is a must have. Medical Tape. During chemotherapy treatments they leave the tubing in your port. My port happens to be in my chest. Those tubes get into everything. It is like having a penis coming out of your chest. It flops left to right. Gets caught in your bra. Flops in the bath tub when you try to shave. Please tape that stuff up when it is not in use.
Survived three treatments. They took my tubing out and my three year old gave me a high five. He was so proud. Little G3 also helps me with my shots. He tells me I am very brave. Now I have a 10 day waiting period before my next treatment. Shots daily to help with my WBC. Lots to do to prepare for Christmas.

That is all I have . Carry on.

Life Has Forever Changed

I have contemplated on writing this in my blog. After all this a story of my son's life. Last week I was diagnosed with Anaplastic Large T Cell Lymphoma AKL Negative. That was the day my heart and soul broke. I will never be the same. Tomorrow I fight the biggest battle of my life, I begin chemotherapy. G3 and I have been speaking that mommy is sick. He even went to the oncologist with me. He shook the docs hand and introduced himself. He told the doc his full name and then asked when mommy would get better. He looks everyday at my bandages and says, " there still there." We have been talking about hair loss and as much as I loathe Sponge Bob Square Pants they had a show about wigs. We used that as a teachable moment. I have been wearing a black skull cap in the house off and on. I am trying to get him used to the fact that I will not have hair and/or be desensitized to bank robbers. How do you get a three year old ready? How do I get myself ready? I would like to share a story that a patient once shared with me. Let's call him Danny. Danny said, "When I was in Vietnam I asked the officer if it was time to shoot." He said, "No not yet." "Wait until 2:00." Danny asked, "Why 2:00?" The officer replied, " My mother prays for me everyday at 2:00." So I will ask if you too you pray for me at 10:00 tomorrow? Chemotherapy is scheduled to start at 10:00. It would be nice to have company.

Thank you in advance. I have to figure out which stilettos to wear for chemotherapy in the morning. Does Jimmy Choo make shoes to go with my port?

Pumpkin Carving

This is the sixth pumpkin we had for Halloween. The other pumpkins were eaten by the squirrels. This pumpkin was rescued by grandmom and papa.

We carved him tonight and will keep him inside to protect him from the squirrels.

Very proud of his pumpkin. G3 said, hey squirrel I want to talk to you. He wants to protect this pumpkin.

Trick or Treat 2011

2nd annual trick or treat with the Martin's

G3" Want to hear a joke? The cubs!" Hahaha!

no holiday would be complete without a visit from the fire department

His favorite movie. "The Great Pumpkin" G3 got a rock. 6 rocks, 2 dimes and a nickel, a tennis ball and loads of candy. If you ask him what his favorite thing, he says, "I got a rock."

Preschool Halloween Party

the great pumpkin chillin with the bee and lady bug

the great pumpkin and superman chillin at the cottage

mom and g3 enjoying a graham cracker treat